21 Ways To Be Fat And Live An Average Life

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The clients who I’ve been lucky enough to help transform have had a few things in common – they stick to a plan, they don’t make excuses, and they work their butt off.

But if that sounds like too much hard work, here’s an easier way. My top 21 tips on how to be fat and how to live an average life…

1. Drink lots of booze, diet soda, flavored coffee’s and milk. All of the good stuff. These drinks are great for living an average life as they’re inflammatory, full of shit, and will make you weak.

 

2. Have no passion. It’s rare to find an unsuccessful person with lots of passion. Much better to meander through life with no passion and no enthusiasm.

 

3. Program hop. We truly are in the information age. There are a gazillion free training guides, blogs, diet plans and books floating around today. It’s no wonder most people feel overwhelmed. I know I sure did. I was jumping from HIIT training, to barbell complexes, to German Volume Training, to some extreme bodybuilding program in my bid for a badass body. It’s only when you stick with something for 2-4 months that you will progress, so keep switching if you want to go no where, and keep reading blog after blog and taking no action.

 

4. Check your email and social media first thing in the morning. If you want to be unproductive, do this instead of doing the 1-2 daily tasks that will move you forward. In fact, stay on email and FaceBook all day.

 

5. Stay comfortable. Don’t take challenges or risks, as this could result in failure. Instead, just stay in your little comfort zone and stick to the rules.

 

6. Have a crappy night sleep. Sleep WILL effect all aspects of your life, but to stay average then make sure you have 3-6 hours of poor-quality sleep.

 

7. Don’t drink water. You and I know our bodies are made up primarily of water, but hey, you can catch up with your water intake tomorrow, right?

 

8. Take a trip to “someday aisle”…. You know the one – someday I’ll…. Start a new diet. Someday I’ll… get out of my shitty job and start living my dream. Stay on somebody aisle to be average.

 

9. Never stand up for what you believe. Let others dictate your values, actions and opinions. Because if you stand up for your beliefs, somebody just might happen to disagree, and you don’t want that.

 

10. Stress more. Guaranteed to make you feel more anxious and get less done.

 

11. Be accountable to nobody. This could be in business, finances or especially in your health. You’d hate to have to be accountable to somebody and be pushed to achieve results. So don’t be.

 

12. Hang out with morons and arseholes. Life is long, and I’ll hang out with positive, uplifting people one of these days, but for now they’re my friends. They make me happy for now. And I’m confortable (See # 5)

 

13. Don’t read books or watch interesting documentaries. Watch soap operas and read gossip mag’s instead.

 

14. Don’t be positive and uplifting. It’s way easier to play it cool, bring everyone down around you, and be sarcastic.

 

15. Don’t eat real food. Rely on supplements instead. Because those supplements do the same job, don’t you read the ad’s in fitness magazines?

 

16. Don’t learn how to cook. Never bother on learning how to prepare a beautiful home cooked meal. That’s overrated.

 

17. Allow excuses. Screw taking 100% responsibility – blame your peers, the weather, your parents, the Gillard government, or your shitty boss. Blame them all.

 

18. Hit snooze. In fact set an alarm for 5am every morning, but in the back of your mind you know that you will snooze until 7am.

 

19. Screw learning. You know everything anyway. So don’t bother going to seminars in your field, reading books, and expanding your mind. You’ll forget most of it anyway, and it’s just a waste of money.

 

20. Spend 100% of your income. Saving is reserved for boring people – I’m spontaneous! I’m taking risks! I’m living life on the edge!

 

21. Don’t focus. Somebody very smart once said, “The Wolf that chases two rabbits at the same time goes hungry” (Thanks To Steve Krebs for this one) So try to do 50 things every day and finish none of them, instead of doing just 1 and giving it 100% of your time and energy until it’s completed well.

 

Don’t be average… And don’t be fat. Instead CHOOSE to be awesome and to do whatever it takes to achieve your health goals.

 

What would you add to this list? What was your favorite? I’d love to hear… Add it to the comments below….

 

 

  • Tara Richards

    My Favourtie so far! Love this!!!!

    • Pete Tansley

      Thanks Tara

  • Ashleigh

    I love this!!! … someone from my work sends your emails on to me and i love them, especially the recipes! Thanks! 🙂

  • pete

    Thanks so much Tara!

  • pete

    Ashleigh I’ll keep them coming 🙂 and thanks for the kind words. PT

  • Jade

    haha this is awesome! the other day i have a row of dark chocolate as a treat! and my sister says “omg thats so unfair…how can you wat that stuff and still have a flat tummy?”…the reply was “because i work my ass off for this chocolate! plus i eat mostly good stuff during the day and i sweat when i train…”….she shrugged, went to her room and got half a bar of cadbury’s milk chocolate haha. Now i LOVE my sister, but her lack of motivation drives me crazy! I did Pete’s 6 week challenge, 3 sessions a week and lost 3% body fat, and felt like i could have done sooo much better! so i keep get more and more motivated to beat my previous self….some of the above used to apply to me but everyday my lifestyle improves…and i look back and laugh at my stupidity for trying to make my own rules 😛 I wish i was 15 again with a wild metabolism that let me eat anything…then again i dont wish that! because i wouldnt have found how much i love the gym and the million different ways you can cook clean food and it tastes soooo much better than grease! haha sorry…got a bit carried away 😛

  • abby

    I really enjoyed this Pete, nice one. Humourous and emphatic all at the same time. Program hopping is so common, and pointless, and so easy to fall into this trap with everything thats out there. The bit about learning and being passionate and assertive is so true also, I think you can only feel your best when your soul is getting a good workout aswell 😉 Well done